Article by: Starburst Promotions
Hildegard Havenga’s vision is to uplift and empower other teenagers wherever she can. She does this by sharing her own experiences, because as an ordinary teen from Pretoria, she also struggles with her own challenges and obstacles. From her own pen, Hildegard shares her thoughts on a teenager’s plans for the future:
“The June exams are almost here again. And for many teens, it feels like just another reminder that time is moving on — and that you should already know where you’re heading. It’s as if the world puts a heavy hand on your shoulder and asks: ‘So, what do you want to do with the rest of your life?’ While all you’re really trying to do is focus on that maths test tomorrow.
And that’s where many of us get stuck: the feeling that you not only have to perform now, but also already have a grown-up plan for a life you haven’t even lived yet.
I’m 16. And I don’t always know exactly what I want to do one day (or even what I want to eat tonight). I have moments of clarity where I’m so sure — and then other times, after talking to someone, I feel completely confused all over again. I sometimes feel like someone being asked questions about a book that hasn’t even been written yet.”
The Pressure of Now and Later:
“On the one hand, the world shouts at teens: ‘Just be yourself and find your identity!’ But on the other: ‘Choose your career. Your subjects. Your university. Your bursary. And do it already in Grade 8.’
It’s not only unfair — it’s unrealistic. You’re only just starting to get to know yourself. Some mornings I feel confident, full of ideas, and ready for anything. Other days I feel like that one lost sock that always stays behind in the laundry basket.
There’s this strange competition among teens — and it’s not just in the classroom. You can’t just be smart. You must also look good. Be sporty. Be funny. Be artistic. You have to do extra-curriculars, build your CV with courses, and manage your social media like a mini influencer. It’s like you’re constantly auditioning — for who you are, what you can offer the world, and whether you’re good enough.
But that’s not all. You have to make it all look effortless. You must be cool — but not try too hard. Unique, but not too different. Stand out, but not seek attention. Always be ‘on’: enthusiastic, informed, up to date with trends, yet also serious about your future. You must keep fit, have glowing skin, keep your Instagram stories updated — and still start each day with a smile, as if you’re under no pressure at all.
You must be yourself — but only if that version of yourself is polished, productive, and perfectly marketable for the future. How exhausting.
Social media only makes it harder. You see only the highlights of others’ lives: someone who started a mountain biking clothing line at 14, another getting a scholarship to Harvard, someone else with international gigs on weekends, and one with a YouTube channel that gets millions of views and still gets straight As. Then you start wondering: What’s wrong with me? What’s my ‘thing’? Shouldn’t I have figured this out by now?
The pressure to already have your passion, a plan, a personality that draws people in — it’s a lot to carry for someone just trying to survive until Friday.
It’s a misleading story we tell each other: that you must be young and successful. Life doesn’t work like that. Most people only discover their calling later — and not because they’re behind, but because they’re living and working on it. Growth takes time. And time is exactly what you must have — especially while you’re still getting to know yourself.
What I’ve started to realise is that when you’re unsure about your future, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. It actually means you care. It shows you’re thinking. Doubt is the beginning of self-awareness.
Some of the most inspiring adults I know had no idea what they wanted to do at 16. Some made drastic changes at 30. And again at 40.
It’s time we start talking more honestly about what’s really normal.
Normal is being uncertain.
Normal is trying something with passion — and then changing your mind.
Normal is feeling lost in the middle of all the noise and expectations.
That’s not lazy.
That’s not stupid.
That’s not behind.
That’s growth.
That’s being human.
That’s your own path — in your own time.”
So how do you start thinking about your future?
“I’ve found that it helps to ask simple, honest questions — not the ones about titles or money or achievements, but the ones that help you think about meaning. For example:
- What kinds of problems in the world would I like to help solve?
- What activities make me so focused I lose track of time?
- What stories or people stir something inside me?
- What do I do willingly — without being asked or paid?
- What would I keep doing, even if no one applauded me for it?
These answers might not show you a job title — but they show you a direction. And right now, it feels like direction is more important than destination.
I once told someone I wanted to ‘do something with people.’ It sounded vague — until I realised how broad that possibility is. ‘People’ can mean medicine, teaching, journalism, art, marketing, psychology… or even something that doesn’t exist yet.
We also need to speak differently about so-called ‘soft’ or creative subjects. Drama, music, art, dance — these aren’t just extras. They’re essential. They’re not just hobbies — they’re languages of emotion, ways of thinking, ways of being.
Yet there’s still a stigma that creative paths are ‘fun subjects’ — not for real careers. Less smart. Less valuable. It’s like you constantly have to justify yourself if you choose something outside the ‘mainstream’ — especially if it doesn’t directly lead to a ‘normal’ job.
But the world doesn’t just need engineers and doctors and programmers. The world also needs people who help us see, feel, listen, and imagine. People who tell stories, give sound to silence, and bring light to darkness.
You don’t have less of a future because you choose a creative path — you just have a different one. And it’s just as full of possibilities.”
One of the biggest lies we believe is that everything must happen quickly.
“You have to be young and successful. You must already have a CV by 21 that sounds like a Netflix documentary about a child prodigy.
But here’s something important: anything of value takes time. Self-knowledge takes time. Growth takes time. And building a full life is not a sprint — it’s a hike. And on my hike, I try to remind myself daily:
1. Your direction matters more than your speed.
Even if you’re moving slowly, you’re moving — and that’s enough when you don’t have all the answers yet. In a world obsessed with quick success, it’s a bigger win to realise you can set your own pace.
2. You don’t have to decide everything in Grade 10.
You’re allowed to change your mind. To switch paths. To say: “I thought that’s what I wanted. But it’s not anymore.” That’s not uncertainty — it’s courage. It takes bravery to redefine your dreams and adjust your route. This is your hike — you’re allowed to turn back, take a detour, or stop to reorient yourself.
3. You’re not a product — you’re a process.
You’re not something to be checked off and completed. People grow. You’re allowed to develop. You must develop. What matters is that you keep walking.
4. Mistakes aren’t endings — they’re just turns in your path.
Sometimes you only find out who you are by discovering what you’re not. You may find yourself in places you didn’t expect — but every turn is part of your beautiful story.
5. You are more than your marks or achievements.
Your humanity, your perspective, your questions — that’s what really counts. That’s what makes you unique. You might not pass every test, but that doesn’t mean you’ve failed. You might not know what your future holds, but what you’re learning today is what strengthens your feet for tomorrow’s climb.
You don’t need to have everything figured out right now:
“I wish more adults would say that to us out loud. But maybe we can start saying it to each other now:
That you don’t need to have your whole life’s puzzle complete by 18. You’re allowed to still be collecting the pieces, to see what fits and what doesn’t.
You’re allowed to experiment. To cry. To laugh. To grow.
I also hope you have people around you who don’t just tell you what to become — but ask you who you are. Mentors who listen and advise without dictating. And friends who don’t compete with you but celebrate and support you.
Teens live in a time where everything moves fast and feels unclear. The world bombards us with ideas of what success looks like, while we’re still figuring out who we are.
We live in an era where likes and shares are often the standard — and it’s easy to lose yourself in all the expectations.
But you don’t have to have everything in place yet. You can still find your own path, and you don’t have to be a perfectly polished version of yourself.
You’re not behind if you’re uncertain. And you’re definitely not alone.
My hope for every teen writing exams or just wrestling with the question ‘what now?’ is simple:
Be kind to yourself.
Do your best.
And remember:
You’re not here just to perform.
You’re here to feel. To learn. To grow. To thrive.
And that takes time.
Everything doesn’t have to make sense yet.
You have more time than you think — and things always have a way of working out.”
SOCIAL MEDIA LINKS
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hildegardhavenga
Instagram: @hildegard.havenga
TikTok: @hildegard.havenga
Image Credit: Willem Botha
